Adoption is a Miracle

I am amazed to see God's hand in the miracle of adoption.  Adoption is NOT a random thing.  Heavenly Father is guiding the situation.  I have witnessed several coincidences that I do not feel were coincidences at all.  God works through people and events to accomplish His purposes.   I am convinced that our Father in Heaven will guide all those involved in this process.  God works in mysterious ways.  I cannot wait to see how our adoption story unfolds.  Then, I will KNOW that those coincidences were indeed miracles that  led us to each other.

16 and Pregnant

      Okay, so I am embarrassed to admit that since we started the adoption process I have been faithfully recording and watching 16 & Pregnant.  Yes, it's on MTV.  Yes, I'm not really the target audience for this show.  And Yes, it's kind of embarrassing to admit that I watch it.  Even Tyler teases me about it so I try to watch and delete it ASAP.  I record it on the TV in my room and fold laundry while I watch it.

     It all started with Catelyn and Tyler who decided to place their baby for adoption.  It was awesome to see how they were guided on their journey and knew adoption was the right choice.  They even felt very drawn to the family that they chose and knew that this was where their daughter was supposed to be.  Their parents fought with them about it and questioned their decision harshly.  And yet, with maturity and love they wanted to choose a better life for their baby and chose adoption.   On the other hand, the majority of the young girls in bad relationships choose to parent in hopes that the boyfriend will suddenly change and be financially and emotionally supportive for their new little family.  And then they can live happily ever after.  This reality show showcases something entirely different with some "drama" orchestrated by the producers.

     I know this show has caused a lot of controversy because some feel it is "glamorizing" the unplanned pregnancies, but I disagree.  I think this show portrays the harsh realty of the challenges of trying to get an education, work, and go to school while caring for a young child (and most of the time without a lot of support).

     It would be so hard to choose what is best for you and for you baby because all the choices are hard.  Choosing adoption is a heart wrenching sacrifice for the birth parents, but at the same time it is the most precious gift they could ever bestow upon any family--a precious child.  Choosing to single parent at a young age is a huge sacrifice as well.  I hope and pray that anyone in this situation will be guided in their decision.  I have friends who were teen moms and friends who were birth moms and friends who chose abortion.  It is a choice that will effect the lives of all involved forever.  If you want to see how some of the 16 and pregnant choices play out then you can watch Teen Mom.  But I'll save that for another post :)

 

Thoughts about Birth Parents

Birth parents are the most generous and selfless people.  They are willing to sacrifice their own desires and wants in order to find the best option for their child.  They are willing to make a choice that may not be supported whole heartedly by friends and family.  They conquer their own fears and doubts about their decision and still move forward.  They are willing to make such a powerful decision that will change lives for everyone involved forever.   Two of my best friends are birth moms and they have no regrets about choosing adoption.  They are both beautiful girls who placed babies in college.  They later graduated from college, married successful and awesome guys, and have families of their own.  Yes, it was hard for them but they both knew it was the right decision.  One of them commented that "from the beginning she felt she was only a vessel to bring her baby to another family--the family where she belonged."  Awesome!  Adoption is a miracle!

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE!  Birth parents love their child enough to realize that they want to give her stability, security, and love.  I guess that is why only 3% of unplanned pregnancies result in an adoption because those qualities are hard to come by.  My caseworker mentioned that one of the reason's she LOVES adoption is because there are very few things in the world where the trials of two different people can be resolved when they are put together.   The solution to both parties is each other.  One unplanned pregnancy+ One family desperately wanting a child= ADOPTION! 


We can't wait to be a part of such a beautiful and rare opportunity.  Thank you to birth parents everywhere!  Forever families are being created through you.

Nothing

Well, there is nothing to update or report on the adoption front :(  There seems to be an occasional lead or someone knows someone who his considering adoption.....  Carson said the other day, "Mom, we REALLY need a little sister!"  The sweetest, most tender side of my boys surfaces whenever I am watching one of my friend's little girls.  They are so excited about finding a sister.  I hope they don't lose faith and that their prayers continue.  Meanwhile, there is always something exciting happening in our lives so I update our family blog.  Someday there might be great news to post here.  Until then we wait, hope, and pray.

SOMETIMES......

I just read a beautiful poem in the April Ensign about adoption.  Earlier this morning, I was talking to one of my girlfriends about the adoption process and about how long I was willing to wait.  

Sometimes I feel like this journey was simply a learning experience for our family. 

Sometimes I think our reward may never be another child, but the lessons learned along the journey.  Sometimes, I feel strong impressions that we are missing someone.  

Sometimes, I have faith and hope.  

Sometimes, I have none.  

Sometimes, I wonder why? 

Sometimes, I wonder when? 

Sometimes, I wonder what if?  

Sometime, I will understand.

And then I read this tonight and thought, "Don't give up yet, it may take longer than you think for her to find us.  She may still be traveling 'over hills and through valleys' to find us."    

JUST THE SAME

by Diana Lynn Lacey

Sometimes--

God sends rain

Straight from the sky

To nourish the young flower

and it grows.

Sometimes--

God sends rain from the sky

To the mountaintops,

Then over hills and through valleys

Until it reaches the flower

and it grows just the same.

Sometimes--

God sends a child

Straight from His realm

Into a mother's arms 

and love grows.

Sometimes---

God sends a child

From heaven to another's arms

Then over hills and through valleys

Until he reaches the arms of his mother

and love grows, just the same.

Almost got picked...

Well two weeks ago, we ALMOST got selected by a Birth Mom.  We were in the top 3 favorite families spot, but didn't make the final cut.  We didn't actually meet or even talk to the BM so we weren't too emotionally invested or hopeful about the opportunity.   However, I must admit that when our caseworker contacted us my mind started to wonder and dream and get anxious about whether or not this could be the ONE we were led down this path to find.  The adoption process is such a crazy journey to participate in.  Some days I wonder why we started it, but I KNOW it was the path we were supposed to take.

The Wicked Queen (me) who is trying to be less "wicked" and more righteous, patient, and believing

Me as the Wicked Queen for Halloween this year.

     I went to a RS meeting last night on improving our scripture study and I determined I kind of suck at it.  Yes, I read the Ensign.  Yes, I read the sciptures almost daily, but I don’t really LOVE them or HUNGER and THIRST after them.  It’s more like a guilt driven relationship.  I know I’m supposed to read them, so I do.  Anyway, the instructors were inspiring and I decided to make a change.  I make time to exercise at least 5 to 6 days a week for at least an hour.  I make time to make my bed and get ready and pick up my house.  I make time to check my E-mail and browse my facebook account.  I make time for my friends, family, Jolley Smiles, and social events.  I make time for my church calling.  But I don’t valiantly strive to MAKE TIME for great scripture study. 

I started with a repentant, humble heart and knelt in prayer so I could understand the scriptures better and to have a desire to do better.  Also, I was teary eyed (okay I was totally crying) with my plea to understand why I had all those powerful promptings and felt such urgency to get approved for adoption.  (read the earlier post about why I think it was an urgent call to action)  Anyway, I made myself so vulnerable and the doubts and fears have been settling in a lot lately.  If it doesn’t happen, does that mean I imagined everything?  If it doesn’t happen soonish, then my boys will be heart broken.  Will they lose faith?  They pray to find and prepare themselves for their baby sister at least 4-5 times a day-- Morning prayer.  Evening Prayer.  Every Meal.    They love to play with my friend’s baby girls.  A sweet, soft, protective side comes out in all of them as they try to make them giggle.  It melts my heart.  Where is she?  When will she join our family?

I am a planner.  I like to have control over my life.  I want to prepare.  But I have NO CONTROL over this process.   I also fear that as my entire family is big enough to hit the slopes this year that I won’t want to start all over again.  What if I lose my desire to search for her?  See, even with that statement it shows I am losing faith.  So I had one of those open the scriptures randomly kind of moments after my prayer ended.  Remember I am sobbing at this point, but I am trying to dab away my tears to salvage my recently applied mascara and powder. 

I opened to this:  Revelations 20:4  “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall their be any more pain……”  A few verses later this hit me “But the fearful, and unbelieving (oh yeah, that’s me right now as far as the doubts about the adoption ever happening) shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.”  Okay, so I am a believer again.  I am scared of fire—even lighting candles on a cake. 

I then played the open the scripture game again.  I flipped through several pages until I happened upon D&C 6:14-19.  It starts, “Blessed art though for what thou has done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit.  If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou are at this time.  (All the verses are great—too much to type so break out those scriptures).  They all touched me because I had been “enlightened by the Spirit of truth” early in the process but my carnal side is whispering that I am crazy and I imagined it all. Vs. 19  “Be patient; be sober; be temperate; have patience, faith hope and charity.”  Was that just me or did PATIENCE really stick out in that verse.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get an answer about the day we would find our birth mom or our daughter, but I have more faith and feel renewed hope that I have done my part.  It has been hard because I felt SO guided and SO compelled during the few weeks that we made the adoption decision and then I didn’t feel guided or prompted to do anything else.  Should I make more attempts on getting our adoption message out there?  Should I do a profile on another website?  I don’t feel guided to do anything more than I have done so far at this time.   So I HOPE that are birth mom will be led to find us and I will try to be PATIENT until she does.   And perhaps my scripture study habits will be better by that time J