Hoping to Adopt: Thoughts about Birth Parents

Tyler aka Dad/orthodontist/periodontist/coach

Age: 36

Height: 6'5"

Occupation: orthodontist and periodontist

Education: Under graduate studies-Utah State University

Dental School-Nova Southeastern University

Orthodontic and Periodontic Residency-University of Pennsylvania

Tyler loves snowboarding, but I have convinced him he is too old for the terrain park—one broken rib later he agrees. Mountain biking, road biking, fly fishing, bird hunting, hiking, and backpacking are the things he enjoys doing with the family. He also has quite the Star Wars toy collection and has passed on his obsession to our three little Jedi’s. He wrote a young adult science fiction novel and he recently signed a contract to have it published. He is so excited! No one can beat him at Guitar Hero. He is a big kid who makes us laugh and is never too busy to be a great husband, provider, and Dad.

Jeena aka Mom/Coach/Taxi Driver/Party Planner/Teacher

Age: 36

Height: 5'5"

Occupation: Stay-at-Home Mom

Career: (pre-kids) Middle School English and Drama Teacher, tutor, actress

Education: BFA Utah State University--Magna Cum Laude Major: Theatre Education Minor: English

I love the theatre, but currently get my fix from girl trips to NYC where I try to hit as many Broadway plays as I can. I hope to get back into performing or teaching someday. I always dreamed of having a performing arts studio in my basement complete with a stage, mirrors, and a piano, but so far my boys would rather play baseball, football, and bike rather than perform. I might have a chance with Tanner who has shown a little interest or the baby girl we hope to adopt. I love mountain biking, road biking, trail running, hiking, skiing, and rafting with my family and friends. I secretly indulge in every minute of American Idol and like to be the vocalist in our family Rock Band competitions. I love watching my kids play sports. I have attempted coaching--though my coaching skills are limited my acting skills convince the kids and possibly a few parents that I know what I am doing.

Kaden aka Kaderade

Age: 10

Height: 4'11"

Education: 5th Grader at Wingate Elementary

Kaden enjoys snowboarding, basketball, tackle football, baseball, swimming, and mountain biking. He plays the piano and is hoping to score guitar lessons soon. He also spends hours creating stop motion Lego movies. He is a great leader and example to his younger brothers and friends. He is very charismatic, intelligent, and athletic and knows how to work for what he wants. He never goes to bed without giving us just one more hug goodnight. We hope he never outgrows that.

Tanner aka Tan the Man

Age: 8

Height: 4'7"

Education: 3rd Grade at Wingate Elementary

Tanner is creative and musical. He loves practicing the piano, making up random songs, reading, and drawing. He has also impressed us with his snowboarding, soccer, swimming, and baseball skills. He is very social and arranges his own play dates with friends from school. He is very imaginative and is rarely seen without his Indiana Jones hat and whip or a light saber. Peacemaker is the role he plays in the family; he has more empathy than anyone I have seen. His sweet, tender personality makes him a great brother and friend.

Carson aka CRASH

Age: 5

Height: 3' 9"

K

Education: Kindergarten at Wingate Elementary

He spends hours destroying the Lego scenes that Kaden creates. “It was just an accident,” is the quote he is most well-known for. He is obsessed with cars and trains. Football is definitely in his future, as he has perfected the tackle. He has NO FEAR and has had the stitches to prove it. He loves scary rides, swimming, hiking, and jumping off of anything. He spends hours outside looking for “holy polies” (potato bugs). He loves being read to and tells us numerous times a day, “I love you!” which in turn melts our hearts and we forgive him for all previous destructions of the day. He is adventurous and has a mind of his own, but can also be very charming. He is very excited about finding a baby sister because he thinks there are too many boys already.

Our Story

The Beginning

Tyler and I grew up in neighboring small towns. He played football, basketball, and tennis. He enjoyed rock climbing, mountain biking, skateboarding, and snowboarding with his friends. I was a drama queen who loved acting, singing, drill team, and piano, but also enjoyed outdoor activities like hiking and skiing. We were both raised in the church with loving parents and three siblings. We attended rival high schools, graduated from high school the same year, but our paths never crossed until…

We Met

We met our freshmen year at Utah State University in the twin towers on campus. We hung out for months as friends. We spent time hiking, going to the campus movies (they were cheap), study dates (where more talking then studying took place), dances, and activities. We had our first kiss on top of the “A” at midnight and became “True Aggies.” We fell in love regardless of the fact that we were from rival towns and that he was leaving for a mission soon.

The Mission

Tyler served a two year mission to Belem, Brazil. I wrote faithfully every week, but he claims that despite the letters I did not wait faithfully. True, so I dated a little, okay a lot, but I had to explore all my options and make sure he was the perfect choice. And he was. Absence made the heart grow fonder. We stood the test of time. Our relationship shattered most missionary girlfriend statistics. I was there waiting when he got home.

Six months after mission

We were married in the Salt Lake Temple and have been in love ever since.

Our Letter to Birth Parents

Dear expectant parents,

The prayers of our family are hopefully reaching you during this difficult time in your lives. We can’t imagine what you are going through. No one would have guessed that you would be reading these thoughts or that we would be writing them. Life never seems predictable or easy. Words of advice being offered from strangers must seem so empty. How can we possibly understand what you are going through or the difficult choice you have to make? To be honest, we can’t. The only thing we can share is why adoption is the right choice for us.

Why adoption? We felt extremely blessed and content with our three healthy and active boys. Nevertheless, that all changed when we started receiving the most amazing and undeniable promptings that we needed to adopt. We all know now that our family is not complete and we are anxious and excited about adopting. One thing we have realized so far is that we are not in control of this situation. It has taken great faith to follow His promptings even when they didn’t seem logical at the time.

We don't know why it was such an urgent call to action. Perhaps it is because the process can take such a long time. Maybe it's because you have been waiting for the "perfect" family to show up right now. Alright, to be perfectly honest, we’re not "perfect.” Our boys recognize each and every Star Wars character, but can’t quite name all the apostles. When we’re tired, we watch our favorite recorded TV shows instead of a second round of conference. Despite our weaknesses, we do strive each day to do what is right and make choices that will keep our family together forever. We try to prioritize our efforts so that we can invest our time and energy on the things that matter most.

Originally, we thought the adoption process was about marketing our family flawlessly. What do we say? What pictures should we use? We do want to make a good first impression, but the process is really about trusting the Lord and knowing that he loves you, your child, and our family. Only He knows what is best for all of us.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Thoughts about Birth Parents

Birth parents are the most generous and selfless people. They are willing to sacrifice their own desires and wants in order to find the best option for their child. They are willing to make a choice that may not be supported whole heartedly by friends and family. They conquer their own fears and doubts about their decision and still move forward. They are willing to make such a powerful decision that will change lives for everyone involved forever. Two of my best friends are birth moms and they have no regrets about choosing adoption. They are both beautiful girls who placed babies in college. They later graduated from college, married successful and awesome guys, and have families of their own. Yes, it was hard for them but they both knew it was the right decision. One of them commented that "from the beginning she felt she was only a vessel to bring her baby to another family--the family where she belonged." Awesome! Adoption is a miracle!

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE! Birth parents love their child enough to realize that they want to give her stability, security, and love. I guess that is why only 3% of unplanned pregnancies result in an adoption because those qualities are hard to come by. My caseworker mentioned that one of the reason's she LOVES adoption is because there are very few things in the world where the trials of two different people can be resolved when they are put together. The solution to both parties is each other. One unplanned pregnancy+ One family desperately wanting a child= ADOPTION!

We can't wait to be a part of such a beautiful and rare opportunity. Thank you to birth parents everywhere! Forever families are being created through you.

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