The Boys and Saber

The Boys and Saber
Meet our family. We can't wait to add to our family through adoption.
Check out our online profile at www.itsaboutlove.org profile #24441528


Tyler aka Dad/orthodontist/periodontist/coach


Age: 36

Height: 6'5"

Occupation: orthodontist and periodontist

Education: Under graduate studies-Utah State University

Dental School-Nova Southeastern University

Orthodontic and Periodontic Residency-University of Pennsylvania

Tyler loves snowboarding, but I have convinced him he is too old for the terrain park—one broken rib later he agrees. Mountain biking, road biking, fly fishing, bird hunting, hiking, and backpacking are the things he enjoys doing with the family. He also has quite the Star Wars toy collection and has passed on his obsession to our three little Jedi’s. He wrote a young adult science fiction novel and he recently signed a contract to have it published. He is so excited! No one can beat him at Guitar Hero. He is a big kid who makes us laugh and is never too busy to be a great husband, provider, and Dad.

Jeena aka Mom/Coach/Taxi Driver/Party Planner/Teacher

Age: 36

Height: 5'5"

Occupation: Stay-at-Home Mom

Career: (pre-kids) Middle School English and Drama Teacher, tutor, actress

Education: BFA Utah State University--Magna Cum Laude Major: Theatre Education Minor: English



I love the theatre, but currently get my fix from girl trips to NYC where I try to hit as many Broadway plays as I can. I hope to get back into performing or teaching someday. I always dreamed of having a performing arts studio in my basement complete with a stage, mirrors, and a piano, but so far my boys would rather play baseball, football, and bike rather than perform. I might have a chance with Tanner who has shown a little interest or the baby girl we hope to adopt. I love mountain biking, road biking, trail running, hiking, skiing, and rafting with my family and friends. I secretly indulge in every minute of American Idol and like to be the vocalist in our family Rock Band competitions. I love watching my kids play sports. I have attempted coaching--though my coaching skills are limited my acting skills convince the kids and possibly a few parents that I know what I am doing.



Kaden aka Kaderade

Age: 10

Height: 4'11"

Education: 5th Grader at Wingate Elementary

Kaden enjoys snowboarding, basketball, tackle football, baseball, swimming, and mountain biking. He plays the piano and is hoping to score guitar lessons soon. He also spends hours creating stop motion Lego movies. He is a great leader and example to his younger brothers and friends. He is very charismatic, intelligent, and athletic and knows how to work for what he wants. He never goes to bed without giving us just one more hug goodnight. We hope he never outgrows that.

Tanner aka Tan the Man

Age: 8

Height: 4'7"

Education: 3rd Grade at Wingate Elementary

Tanner is creative and musical. He loves practicing the piano, making up random songs, reading, and drawing. He has also impressed us with his snowboarding, soccer, swimming, and baseball skills. He is very social and arranges his own play dates with friends from school. He is very imaginative and is rarely seen without his Indiana Jones hat and whip or a light saber. Peacemaker is the role he plays in the family; he has more empathy than anyone I have seen. His sweet, tender personality makes him a great brother and friend.








Carson aka CRASH

Age: 5

Height: 3' 9"
K
Education: Kindergarten at Wingate Elementary

He spends hours destroying the Lego scenes that Kaden creates. “It was just an accident,” is the quote he is most well-known for. He is obsessed with cars and trains. Football is definitely in his future, as he has perfected the tackle. He has NO FEAR and has had the stitches to prove it. He loves scary rides, swimming, hiking, and jumping off of anything. He spends hours outside looking for “holy polies” (potato bugs). He loves being read to and tells us numerous times a day, “I love you!” which in turn melts our hearts and we forgive him for all previous destructions of the day. He is adventurous and has a mind of his own, but can also be very charming. He is very excited about finding a baby sister because he thinks there are too many boys already.


Our Story

The Beginning

Tyler and I grew up in neighboring small towns. He played football, basketball, and tennis. He enjoyed rock climbing, mountain biking, skateboarding, and snowboarding with his friends. I was a drama queen who loved acting, singing, drill team, and piano, but also enjoyed outdoor activities like hiking and skiing. We were both raised in the church with loving parents and three siblings. We attended rival high schools, graduated from high school the same year, but our paths never crossed until…

We Met

We met our freshmen year at Utah State University in the twin towers on campus. We hung out for months as friends. We spent time hiking, going to the campus movies (they were cheap), study dates (where more talking then studying took place), dances, and activities. We had our first kiss on top of the “A” at midnight and became “True Aggies.” We fell in love regardless of the fact that we were from rival towns and that he was leaving for a mission soon.

The Mission

Tyler served a two year mission to Belem, Brazil. I wrote faithfully every week, but he claims that despite the letters I did not wait faithfully. True, so I dated a little, okay a lot, but I had to explore all my options and make sure he was the perfect choice. And he was. Absence made the heart grow fonder. We stood the test of time. Our relationship shattered most missionary girlfriend statistics. I was there waiting when he got home.

Six months after mission

We were married in the Salt Lake Temple and have been in love ever since.

Our Letter to Birth Parents

Dear expectant parents,

The prayers of our family are hopefully reaching you during this difficult time in your lives. We can’t imagine what you are going through. No one would have guessed that you would be reading these thoughts or that we would be writing them. Life never seems predictable or easy. Words of advice being offered from strangers must seem so empty. How can we possibly understand what you are going through or the difficult choice you have to make? To be honest, we can’t. The only thing we can share is why adoption is the right choice for us.

Why adoption? We felt extremely blessed and content with our three healthy and active boys. Nevertheless, that all changed when we started receiving the most amazing and undeniable promptings that we needed to adopt. We all know now that our family is not complete and we are anxious and excited about adopting. One thing we have realized so far is that we are not in control of this situation. It has taken great faith to follow His promptings even when they didn’t seem logical at the time.

We don't know why it was such an urgent call to action. Perhaps it is because the process can take such a long time. Maybe it's because you have been waiting for the "perfect" family to show up right now. Alright, to be perfectly honest, we’re not "perfect.” Our boys recognize each and every Star Wars character, but can’t quite name all the apostles. When we’re tired, we watch our favorite recorded TV shows instead of a second round of conference. Despite our weaknesses, we do strive each day to do what is right and make choices that will keep our family together forever. We try to prioritize our efforts so that we can invest our time and energy on the things that matter most.

Originally, we thought the adoption process was about marketing our family flawlessly. What do we say? What pictures should we use? We do want to make a good first impression, but the process is really about trusting the Lord and knowing that he loves you, your child, and our family. Only He knows what is best for all of us.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Adoption is a Miracle

I am amazed to see God's hand in the miracle of adoption.  Adoption is NOT a random thing.  Heavenly Father is guiding the situation.  I have witnessed several coincidences that I do not feel were coincidences at all.  God works through people and events to accomplish His purposes.   I am convinced that our Father in Heaven will guide all those involved in this process.  God works in mysterious ways.  I cannot wait to see how our adoption story unfolds.  Then, I will KNOW that those coincidences were indeed miracles that  led us to each other.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

16 and Pregnant

      Okay, so I am embarrassed to admit that since we started the adoption process I have been faithfully recording and watching 16 & Pregnant.  Yes, it's on MTV.  Yes, I'm not really the target audience for this show.  And Yes, it's kind of embarrassing to admit that I watch it.  Even Tyler teases me about it so I try to watch and delete it ASAP.  I record it on the TV in my room and fold laundry while I watch it.

     It all started with Catelyn and Tyler who decided to place their baby for adoption.  It was awesome to see how they were guided on their journey and knew adoption was the right choice.  They even felt very drawn to the family that they chose and knew that this was where their daughter was supposed to be.  Their parents fought with them about it and questioned their decision harshly.  And yet, with maturity and love they wanted to choose a better life for their baby and chose adoption.   On the other hand, the majority of the young girls in bad relationships choose to parent in hopes that the boyfriend will suddenly change and be financially and emotionally supportive for their new little family.  And then they can live happily ever after.  This reality show showcases something entirely different with some "drama" orchestrated by the producers.

     I know this show has caused a lot of controversy because some feel it is "glamorizing" the unplanned pregnancies, but I disagree.  I think this show portrays the harsh realty of the challenges of trying to get an education, work, and go to school while caring for a young child (and most of the time without a lot of support).

     It would be so hard to choose what is best for you and for you baby because all the choices are hard.  Choosing adoption is a heart wrenching sacrifice for the birth parents, but at the same time it is the most precious gift they could ever bestow upon any family--a precious child.  Choosing to single parent at a young age is a huge sacrifice as well.  I hope and pray that anyone in this situation will be guided in their decision.  I have friends who were teen moms and friends who were birth moms and friends who chose abortion.  It is a choice that will effect the lives of all involved forever.  If you want to see how some of the 16 and pregnant choices play out then you can watch Teen Mom.  But I'll save that for another post :)

 

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Thoughts about Birth Parents

Birth parents are the most generous and selfless people.  They are willing to sacrifice their own desires and wants in order to find the best option for their child.  They are willing to make a choice that may not be supported whole heartedly by friends and family.  They conquer their own fears and doubts about their decision and still move forward.  They are willing to make such a powerful decision that will change lives for everyone involved forever.   Two of my best friends are birth moms and they have no regrets about choosing adoption.  They are both beautiful girls who placed babies in college.  They later graduated from college, married successful and awesome guys, and have families of their own.  Yes, it was hard for them but they both knew it was the right decision.  One of them commented that "from the beginning she felt she was only a vessel to bring her baby to another family--the family where she belonged."  Awesome!  Adoption is a miracle!

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE!  Birth parents love their child enough to realize that they want to give her stability, security, and love.  I guess that is why only 3% of unplanned pregnancies result in an adoption because those qualities are hard to come by.  My caseworker mentioned that one of the reason's she LOVES adoption is because there are very few things in the world where the trials of two different people can be resolved when they are put together.   The solution to both parties is each other.  One unplanned pregnancy+ One family desperately wanting a child= ADOPTION! 


We can't wait to be a part of such a beautiful and rare opportunity.  Thank you to birth parents everywhere!  Forever families are being created through you.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Nothing

Well, there is nothing to update or report on the adoption front :(  There seems to be an occasional lead or someone knows someone who his considering adoption.....  Carson said the other day, "Mom, we REALLY need a little sister!"  The sweetest, most tender side of my boys surfaces whenever I am watching one of my friend's little girls.  They are so excited about finding a sister.  I hope they don't lose faith and that their prayers continue.  Meanwhile, there is always something exciting happening in our lives so I update our family blog.  Someday there might be great news to post here.  Until then we wait, hope, and pray.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

SOMETIMES......


I just read a beautiful poem in the April Ensign about adoption.  Earlier this morning, I was talking to one of my girlfriends about the adoption process and about how long I was willing to wait.  

Sometimes I feel like this journey was simply a learning experience for our family. 
Sometimes I think our reward may never be another child, but the lessons learned along the journey.  Sometimes, I feel strong impressions that we are missing someone.  
Sometimes, I have faith and hope.  
Sometimes, I have none.  
Sometimes, I wonder why? 
Sometimes, I wonder when? 
Sometimes, I wonder what if?  
Sometime, I will understand.

And then I read this tonight and thought, "Don't give up yet, it may take longer than you think for her to find us.  She may still be traveling 'over hills and through valleys' to find us."    

JUST THE SAME
by Diana Lynn Lacey

Sometimes--
God sends rain
Straight from the sky
To nourish the young flower
and it grows.

Sometimes--
God sends rain from the sky
To the mountaintops,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until it reaches the flower
and it grows just the same.

Sometimes--
God sends a child
Straight from His realm
Into a mother's arms 
and love grows.

Sometimes---
God sends a child
From heaven to another's arms
Then over hills and through valleys
Until he reaches the arms of his mother
and love grows, just the same.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Almost got picked...

Well two weeks ago, we ALMOST got selected by a Birth Mom.  We were in the top 3 favorite families spot, but didn't make the final cut.  We didn't actually meet or even talk to the BM so we weren't too emotionally invested or hopeful about the opportunity.   However, I must admit that when our caseworker contacted us my mind started to wonder and dream and get anxious about whether or not this could be the ONE we were led down this path to find.  The adoption process is such a crazy journey to participate in.  Some days I wonder why we started it, but I KNOW it was the path we were supposed to take.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Wicked Queen (me) who is trying to be less "wicked" and more righteous, patient, and believing



Me as the Wicked Queen for Halloween this year.
     I went to a RS meeting last night on improving our scripture study and I determined I kind of suck at it.  Yes, I read the Ensign.  Yes, I read the sciptures almost daily, but I don’t really LOVE them or HUNGER and THIRST after them.  It’s more like a guilt driven relationship.  I know I’m supposed to read them, so I do.  Anyway, the instructors were inspiring and I decided to make a change.  I make time to exercise at least 5 to 6 days a week for at least an hour.  I make time to make my bed and get ready and pick up my house.  I make time to check my E-mail and browse my facebook account.  I make time for my friends, family, Jolley Smiles, and social events.  I make time for my church calling.  But I don’t valiantly strive to MAKE TIME for great scripture study. 

I started with a repentant, humble heart and knelt in prayer so I could understand the scriptures better and to have a desire to do better.  Also, I was teary eyed (okay I was totally crying) with my plea to understand why I had all those powerful promptings and felt such urgency to get approved for adoption.  (read the earlier post about why I think it was an urgent call to action)  Anyway, I made myself so vulnerable and the doubts and fears have been settling in a lot lately.  If it doesn’t happen, does that mean I imagined everything?  If it doesn’t happen soonish, then my boys will be heart broken.  Will they lose faith?  They pray to find and prepare themselves for their baby sister at least 4-5 times a day-- Morning prayer.  Evening Prayer.  Every Meal.    They love to play with my friend’s baby girls.  A sweet, soft, protective side comes out in all of them as they try to make them giggle.  It melts my heart.  Where is she?  When will she join our family?

I am a planner.  I like to have control over my life.  I want to prepare.  But I have NO CONTROL over this process.   I also fear that as my entire family is big enough to hit the slopes this year that I won’t want to start all over again.  What if I lose my desire to search for her?  See, even with that statement it shows I am losing faith.  So I had one of those open the scriptures randomly kind of moments after my prayer ended.  Remember I am sobbing at this point, but I am trying to dab away my tears to salvage my recently applied mascara and powder. 

I opened to this:  Revelations 20:4  “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall their be any more pain……”  A few verses later this hit me “But the fearful, and unbelieving (oh yeah, that’s me right now as far as the doubts about the adoption ever happening) shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.”  Okay, so I am a believer again.  I am scared of fire—even lighting candles on a cake. 

I then played the open the scripture game again.  I flipped through several pages until I happened upon D&C 6:14-19.  It starts, “Blessed art though for what thou has done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit.  If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou are at this time.  (All the verses are great—too much to type so break out those scriptures).  They all touched me because I had been “enlightened by the Spirit of truth” early in the process but my carnal side is whispering that I am crazy and I imagined it all. Vs. 19  “Be patient; be sober; be temperate; have patience, faith hope and charity.”  Was that just me or did PATIENCE really stick out in that verse.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get an answer about the day we would find our birth mom or our daughter, but I have more faith and feel renewed hope that I have done my part.  It has been hard because I felt SO guided and SO compelled during the few weeks that we made the adoption decision and then I didn’t feel guided or prompted to do anything else.  Should I make more attempts on getting our adoption message out there?  Should I do a profile on another website?  I don’t feel guided to do anything more than I have done so far at this time.   So I HOPE that are birth mom will be led to find us and I will try to be PATIENT until she does.   And perhaps my scripture study habits will be better by that time J